Valentines: Ain’t nobody got time for that


Eternal cat lady Catrin Lewis, explains why she will be avoiding the Valentine’s aisle this year.

Ah, Valentine’s Day, the anniversary of the murder of St Valentine in 269AD.
Poor guy, little did he realise that people would use his death centuries later as an excuse to hike up the price of a restaurant meal and flog

anything red, heart shaped or vaguely cute as a ‘seasonal’ product; if you genuinely think that your other half will appreciate a badly made teddy bear holding a heart saying something sickening, I personally feel that you need to reassess whether you’re both mature enough to be in a  relationship. Unless they carry serious sentimental value, stuffed toys are strictly for children, not people old enough to have overdrafts, buy fireworks and get a pilot’s license.

Now, I can kind of see the point of the day – mostly giving men everywhere a chance to make up for all their wrongdoing the rest of the year, the romantic version of the Men in Black’s mind erasing Neuralyzer – but I can’t help seeing it just as some major exercise in consumerism.

Love isn’t about heart-shaped chocolates and novelty knickers; it’s about finding someone with whom you can share the most intimate details of your life with. If you’re okay with admitting to them that you shave your toes and you can go for a wee in front of them without being embarrassed then congratulations, you’ve found someone you genuinely click with. Either that or you’re a pervert. Take your pick.

I know that I’m giving off the air of a single cat lady, but actually, that description of me is redundant. Somehow, I’ve achieved the status of crazy cat lady in a relationship. Luckily for me, my boyfriend feels the same andso we’ll be blissfully ignoring the day, smug and happy in the knowledge that making an effort shouldn’t be reserved for just one day a year. Instead, it should probably be saved for those times where you’ve either
made a massive mistake or when you want something.

Now, if you’ve managed to stay strong in the face of adversity and chosen to carry on with your romantic Valentine’s Day plans, then I can only wish you good luck.

As for everyone else – enjoy your day like every other Thursday you’ll ever have; going to Sin Savers and waking up the next day with only your smiley face hand stamp for company.

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