Issue 153

Mud flaps - off guard?

26th February 2007

I was driving homeward on the M4, with the anticipation of returning home with nothing to look forward to but 12 hour shifts in a busy supermarket. Floating into the far right hand lane I carried on at my merry 80, overtaking the other sleepy Sunday drivers, when a car came roaring up my backside flashing his lights at me.

I would've enjoyed the profound obscenities his fingers were making at me as he drove past in his company Mondeo, but the surface water from the previous rain swept off the road, momentarily blinding me with a massive curtain of water. Naturally I panicked and swerved, while reaching for the wipers, tenuously attached to my car after a desperate self repair. So you can imagine my distress, when I was torn between fearing for my life or fearing for the wipers.

This made me remember, after several black coffees at the service station, a conversation I had earlier in the week with my Grandad. He'd just bought a new Peugeot 207, and discovered he had to pay an extra £16 for a pair of basic mud flaps, and it was up to the dutiful buyer to fit them themselves.

I was rather amused by the fact that Peugeot sell three types of mud flap. You can have Peugeot's 'painted specials' which yes, cost a massive £75 readily available to match your £11,000 worth of 207 in whichever colour your precious Pug happens to be.

After my near death experience on the M4, I realised mud flaps are indispensable. I therefore came to the conclusion that selfish people wouldn't buy them, which made me feel I should repay them by removing the mud flaps on my own car, which neither achieved anything or made me feel better. So I wrote to Ford.

Apparently it's been the same for years - you buy the car you buy the mudflaps. The moral of this story is, if you go and buy a car, be prepared to take out a second mortgage for the mud flaps. Obviously it is not the driver who benefits from these, apart from the fact that they have to visit the car wash more often. Just take pity on the rest of us, please?

Becky Lewis