Issue 158

With crocodiles as neighbours...

22nd October 2007

After getting my A-Level results, I didn't think I had got into any of my chosen universities so, instead of phoning up and going through the long-winded process of clearing, I immediately and spontaneously decided to book a flight to Australia! Two days later I received a letter through the door saying "Congratulations and Welcome to Swansea University."

My spur of the moment decision meant that I had to phone Swansea and defer entry. At this time, I was blissfully unaware of the fact that my trip to Australia was going to cost me a fortune, not to mention that I had to pay top-up fees because I deferred late.

Anyway, after eight weeks of furiously saving money, I finally arrived in Australia. At the start, before I began spending my hard-earned cash, everything was good. Then just after Christmas my funds had dwindled down to a measly £150 and so I had to get a job.

At this point I was in Cairns, which, for those of you who are unaware, is in North East Australia and is known as 'The Gateway to the Great Barrier Reef.' There is not a lot going on in Cairns and not many jobs, so I travelled south to a place called Innisfail.

Here, I got a job on a banana farm, which was an experience and a half. During my four week stay, I cut my leg open with a machete and got bitten by a spider that I was reassured was not poisonous - which isn't that reassuring when you are the one that has been bitten.

I found out later in my travels that if you are bitten by something poisonous you are not given the antidote until you go into cardiac arrest as the anti-venom is more poisonous than the venom if you have not actually been poisoned.

People in Innisfail were exactly what you might imagine hillbillies to be and a Saturday night out in this town was one of the most unique experiences of my life.

Another experience I remember from Innisfail is the fact that crocodiles lived in the river that ran through the town - the local children loved swimming in it and played a crocodile version of chicken! Just think what our nanny state government would think of that!

After a month of working I decided it was time to continue my travels. I arrived at my next destination, Magnetic Island, and was stuck in my room for a week due to a cyclone which wiped out Innisfail including the farm and working hostel that I had been staying in while I was there.

After all that excitement I decided to travel further South to the Whitsunday's. I arrived in the Whitsunday's on January 26 which was Australia Day, an annual National celebration of when, in 1788, Captain Arthur Phillip founded the colony and the First Fleet arrived in Sydney.

I was sharing a room with five Aussie lads and as it was Australia day they were celebrating and invited me out. Five hours and about twelve pints later, the travel and drink had exhausted me and I had to go to bed, leaving the others to carry on partying.

I was woken up at 6am by what I thought was water dripping on me. In fact it was pee. The dude on the top bunk had wet himself and it had leaked through the bunk!

I went mental at him, not that he really realised as he was so drunk he should really have been in casualty! I moved out of the hostel that morning and found a dry bed to kip in the next night.

The next day I went on a boat trip and a bloke on the boat told me about the bed he slept in that night and the fact that it was covered in pee. Of course it turned out it was the same bed!

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