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• Amy Wilkinson
• 04 May 2007 18:00

Apparently my method of revision involves staring at my work, going "err" and then stalking people on Facebook. I've got five exams at the end of May, and still the only fact that I've managed to take in is that the world record of sleep deprivation is held by a man called Randy Gardener (yup, I giggled like a child at that one too). So now we turn to Facebook, the latest internet fad that I hoped never to become a part of. I was happy with Myspace; it was colourful and let me bombard anyone who looked at my page with The Libertines, or an eighties classic of my choice. Then my so called 'friend' suggested I got onto this Facebook lark, apparently there were "loads of people who don't have Myspace and it's loads better, innit" (according to my friend). So I joined Facebook and now, a few months later, I can't bloody stop stalking people on it. The most frustrating thing is when you go to stalk someone really good, say for example your arch nemesis who you secretly hope has got really fat and has a shockingly bad haircut, then you find out their profile is set to private. But no, you don't stop there... you think of new people to stalk whose profile is open to the world and spend hours looking through these damn things when the fact is that you didn't think you'd even give a shit. Although seeing all the pictures of the Emo kids taking pictures of themselves pouting or posing whilst looking up towards the camera is always jolly fun to see. Those youngsters with their crazy black and white hair, eh? Just wait until the Summer comes around... those black skinny jeans and silly hair will get ruined on the beach. RUINED.

I even reached a new level when I forced my boyfriend to join Facebook, simply so my profile could say 'in a relationship with...' then his name would appear after it and there would be a lovely little link to his profile (yes, I am that needy). Then you get the 'friend-grabbers', the people who will add everyone they've seen in their entire life, despite whether they spoke/liked/cared about the person they add. Randomly, some guy added me as a friend the other day. I had no idea who they were so thought I'd send a friendly email to them to find out if I knew them. This is how the email exchange has gone over the past few days:

Me: Hello! You just added me as a friend on facebook. I don't mean to sound rude but how do I know you?

Random guy: r u lucy's sis

[no bloody question mark, it does anger me when people choose not to punctuate in emails. The 'r u' is an entirely different angry topic]

Me: Nope, not as far as I'm aware...

Random guy: oh. Ha ha. Wanna b mates anyway

Me: Not particularly.

Weird random guy: y not?

Me: Because you're not my friend, I don't even know you. I could understand if I said I was looking to 'meet people' but I'm clearly not, don't you think it's a bit sad that people just friend grab on here and use platforms such as this and Myspace and even that Second Life thing instead of actually getting into the real world and living their own life and meeting their own friends? Wouldn't that be much more fulfilling and self-satisfying?

Weird random guy: what r u a lez

I admit, I went slightly over the top with the penultimate response in our exchange but if he gave me a satisfying answer to my questions then hey, maybe I would have been his 'virtual' friend. I decided to leave our exchange and ignore him from now on, restraining myself from sending him back a sarcasm fuelled email that would have made me happy but would have most probably elicited similar assumptions from the random guy.

Time to go and stare at my revision notes again now... or I could take the dogs for a walk in the sunshine and eat ice cream! Damn you ice cream, always getting the better of me.

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