Blogs
Christmas crap and sword fighting
- 29 Jan 2007 09:00
Hi again everyone, Had exams. Nearly over. Head exploding. Still had time to solve your problems though!
I got an amazing array of crap for christmas. It seems my family and friends have an unfailing knack to buy me stuff I can't imagine ever needing or wanting, and then it's usually in the wrong colour or size, so I end up with a big pile of useless stuff. And what's worse, my birthday's in March, how can I stop this awful situation happening all over again? And what should I do with the unwanted gifts?
Camilla Windsor
Dear Camilla,
I've always hated that phrase 'unwanted gifts'.
If it's the thought that counts, that's almost like saying your family's thoughts are unwanted and unappreciated!
I manage to accumulate plenty of stuff without any help (that lethal combination of money and shops), Christmas and birthday stuff is just a bonus. The best thing is - apart from my dad occasionally joking about when I'm going to sell/throw things - my parents really don't seem to mind me using our family home as storage space. If your parents feel the same way, arrange for them to store your unwanted gifts; then, when their house overflows, they'll know to stop buying things for you!
What's your opinion on sword fighting? Suitable family friendly fun or murderous dangerous villianry?
Martha Lower
Dear Martha,
Sword-fighting is fantastic and character building. They don't do enough of it in school nowadays, so kids have no idea how to defend themselves. Nothing worse than being impaled by foam.
OH, you meant with REAL swords? I thought I'd never heard of anyone being squeaked to death. If you do have a sword with you in your room on campus, I feel it's my public duty to remind you that no arms of any kind are allowed in halls. The person who shot me from the 4th floor window of Preseli with a paintball gun three years ago clearly wasn't aware of this rule.
I'm in trouble. I used my flatmate's stuff and then in my laziness didn't clean it and now I think it might be ruined. Any good tips for cleaning non-stick pans which have somehow broken the rules and got a whole ton of burnt food and a plastic spatula stuck to it?
Iain McNell
Dear Iain,
If laziness ruined things, then use laziness to fix them...ever seen Brainiac? I'll give you a clue, involves explosives...HIGH explosives. Re: earlier point, the University probably won't allow you to have explosives in your room in halls either (no sense of fun, some people!) so keep it well hidden at the back of the fridge where you've always kept it. I assure you, no-one in Cefn Bryn will find out. Your secret's safe with me.
I have this friend, and she's like fit as but she's also quite hard for a girl like so I didn't know if it would be a cool thing to get her a valentine's card or if she'd think I was like totally lame. Do you think I should ask her first, or does that spoil stuff?
Gaz Bennett
Dear Gaz,
If she's that hard, sounds like there's an easy-peasy way to find out. Ask her; if she wallops you, it's lame.
The concept of Valentine's cards defeats me. Where's the fun and surprise in sending someone a card that says you like them, then keeping your identity a secret! There should be acceptance cards, which the recipient of the card can tear off and return to the sender, which says "Thank you for your request to be my Valentine. Please bear in mind that, whilst I'll make every effort to get back in touch with you as soon as possible, there may be a delay due to overwhelming demand. If you do not receive further information in the next 28 days, please assume the position has been taken, and your application has been rejected. You may of course re-apply next year - enclosing the same processing fee of £5 - if you are still eligible."
Wouldn't that make everything sooo much easier?! At least you'd know who liked you and who didn't, and in the space of only a month, instead of having to wait a whole year. It would also help if there was an easy way to find out who's single and who isn't, thereby skilfully avoiding any embarrassing moments, such as finding an elaborate way to sneak a card to your Valentine, then being introduced to their boyfriend...but I'm sure that's a mistake anyone could make...
Until next time - you humans will insist on having problems for me to solve - send them in! Jamie x
Uncle Jamie
