Blogs
Fletch's Thoughts
A blog from the Waterfront's Kate Fletcher.
Bloody banks
- 04 Feb 2007 17:15
Right now, I am fuming. Really fuming. My normally placid self is contorted into a tight ball of pent-up anger, ready to be unleashed on the next person who dares talk to me. Why, when you make the stupid mistake of going over your overdraft limit, do banks feel that they can charge you 35 quid for the measly amount of time they had to take out of their not-really-that-hectic schedules to approve whatever it was that's sent you over?
In my case a cheque. And a really stupid landlord. Or his company. Or my bank. Or the whole world in general and the way it ticks merrily along fooling you into thinking everything is okay. Or a combination of all of them. Basically, nothing to do with me, obviously. And definitely nothing to do with that new top or my £700 quid flight to Sri Lanka for this coming summer, or the copious amounts of beer (and the odd £4 cocktail) I have consumed so far this term. Nothing at all to do with that. Anyway, they've charged me. The bastards have charged me. You know the Sri Lanka trip is for charity? Yeah, try telling the bank manager that though. Heartless son-of-a... [Deep breath] And it doesn't even matter if you have gone 50p over, or 500 pounds, you still get charged the same and they still say the same stupid words about bank policy.
You know what they have to do? Click a button. 35 quid. For clicking a button. I feel like reaching over the counter (or down the phone line), grabbing the smarmy bank person by his pristine Next shirt collar and yelling in his ear "I'm a student you bastard! You get a kick out of robbing me of my valuable beer money, [might be better if I said here 'valuable money for charity, or for a roof over my head, or for me to give to the Big Issue guy...] do you? DO YOU?" But I know it's not this little guys fault. He's just the unfortunate person who has to soak up my rage and, with extreme awkwardness, pick my sobbing self-pitying self off the floor of Natwest. Its company policy, he repeats. Skint student or multi-millionaire, go over your limit and you're charged. This makes NO sense.
If you're at your overdraft limit, that's kind of suggesting you're in pretty deep shit money-wise already, right? Else you wouldn't already be at your limit. So why – WHY? – do they decide to get you in even deeper shit money-wise by adding to your financial strife? Talk about kicking me whilst I'm down. I'm left with nothing, Nothing! That might sound melodramatic but I'm in that kind of mood so just don't, okay? Just go with me. Listen in sympathetic silence, nodding your head in compassion. I'm a nice person, I do my bit for homeless animals, I know what a hard days work is, and I've never hit anyone; I deserve to win the lottery much more than some pikey idiot on benefits. So, Mr God, Mr Fate, Mr Bank Manager, whoever, send me some financial luck please. I'd be very grateful. And yes, I am actually thinking that the heavens will take pity on me and I'll receive a cheque in the post tomorrow from an anonymous millionaire who's read my 'story' and has decided to help out.
Now I'm off to calm down, to remember how to breathe, to regain my natural pale complexion, and (in desperate times) to buy a scratchcard.
Kate Fletcher